Career
Development – How to be our authentic selves
I was thinking recently about authenticity andhow important it is, not only in our careers, but also in our everyday life.
So what is it to be authentic?
Genuine, real, truthful, true, dependable, trustworthy, not only to others, but also to ourselves.
Is it possible for every interaction we have to be authentic?
Take for instance my recent experience in a
shop, I was hardly acknowledged, grunted at and the unfortunate person obviously
wanted to be somewhere else. Would I
have preferred the person to take a deep breath, paint on a smile and be way
over the top in asking me how I am, compliment me on my choice of purchase and
really really wanted me to have a great day…?
Well the answer is I would have preferred neither as both are not a reflection of them being their true self. There is pretence in both, the former internalising themselves and the latter outwardly putting
up a fake front..
What gets in the way of us being authentic?
It’s usually because we are not addressing something that means something to us and we fear how others will react to the true expression of ourselves.
In the workplace this is very common, as there are so many people to please and we are of the belief that expressing ourselves will rock the boat.
How many of you feel it’s necessary to put on your ‘work face’ and that most days are a ‘performance?’. It takes so much energy not only doing the jobs we are paid to do, but also doing it in character,
that’s two jobs in one!
It could be some days we really can’t be bothered to get into character, but instead of being our authentic selves, we can take it all inward and maybe be quiet or withdrawn.
The fact of the matter is the longer we don’t address things, the more frustrated we become, losing touch with our sense of self in the workplace.
Don’t be mislead here its not the situation that frustrates us and drives us into fakedom, its really ourselves because we’re not addressing what we need to address as our authentic selves.
You may be biting your tongue with someone
in the office, cascading messages you don’t believe in, or undertaking tasks
that you know can be done in a better way, your overriding aim is to please.
However the fear of repercussions,
upsetting someone, rocking the boat, becoming unpopular or being sidelined puts
us into character.
With friends/family try and hide youre
upset, put on the fake front, but the ones who know you know there’s something
up..we don’t always have the luxury of someone asking us whats up.
Removing the barriers
The only way to address this is knowing who
our authentic self truly is and loving and respecting them, giving them
permission to show up in our life at all times.
This knowledge is very powerful, indeed why
would your authentic self rock any boats deliberately, you want what’s best for
everyone. We can influence better my being authentic, people buy into us engage
and listen.
Fake to hide feelings and emotions
What your authentic self can’t control though
is the reaction of others, if you do get a negative response, it really is
their problem not yours.
Self Reflection
Really look at yourself in the workplace
and note in a week how much your authentic self turns up…if you feel you have
no alternative, but to be fake then maybe its time to move on..
For me personally I think its really easy
to be authentic when everything is going really well, its easy to be joyous
when things are joyous. Do we have to be fake to survive in the workplace?
